Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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