yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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