I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize