I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
