I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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