im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
