Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
