the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You need Xanax blowdarts
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
