I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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