To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
