check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
