I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
