I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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