your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
