I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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