ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
