So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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