Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This house was built for laser tag.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
