I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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