her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's rum buckets o'clock
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
