I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm like, not good at living.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
