I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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