i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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