The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
