i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Green mimosas i think yes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
