kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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