I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
