how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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