I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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