Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
