pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
