It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
