i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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