I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
