is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
