That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
