Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
