how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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