ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
