My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
