when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are all done wearing pants today
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
