If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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