when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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