you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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