Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize