Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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