is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
