i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just high enough for therapy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
