Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
