just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
