i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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