We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
