you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
