I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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