It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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