can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
