Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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