we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
