i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
