The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So apparently I’m into choking now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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