Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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